Rebirth: Cognito Ergo Sum

The Planner. Perfect marriage material. But completely wrong for me.
The Ape. A Perfect match. But lacking in vision and passion.
The Stranger. A work in progress. Should I follow through?

With the Planner, I always thought we would end up together, already knowing what we would name our kids and where we would get married, and what our wedding would be like. And logically, I know we would never work out. However, there's still some part of me that hopes beyond all reason. He picks me up when I am down. If only he hadn't pulled such a number on me. I honestly don't know why I let his words and actions affect me so much. I shouldn't have let him get to me. And yet in spite of what my conscious and subconscious mind appear to think, my heart is still saying "don't let go, hold on til the end" - but I'm not entirely sure that's what I intend to do.

The Stranger on the other hand, has potential. But in all honesty, I just don't see us going anywhere. Perhaps that is just because I don't know him that well. Maybe I should give him a shot.

I want to drown, in a deep, dark abyss and submerge myself in a black cloud of sorrow and despair. Isolate myself from the world. Succumb to my wailing desperation. Swim in these dark pools of blood-stained madness. I want to lost myself and be reborn. I was not meant for such melancholic non-sense. I was meant to dive into darkness and emerge among the skies, following a thunderous storm, with a rainbow shining brightly. Dripping with water, renewed by the light, my heart patched up all over again, stronger and sturdier with every heartbreak. Determination growing deep inside of me: I can be whoever I want to be. I am in charge (and therefore responsible) of my own actions. I am in charge of my own attitude. "I think, therefore I am" - Cognito Ergo Sum.